Punk Floyd

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Dá pra botar essa... porcaria pra melhor?


Arband.jpg Este artigo é sobre um(a) artista, grupo musical ou uma banda.

Certamente, seus fãs idiotas alienados o odiarão!


Os anos pós-guerra foram um período em que a Inglaterra sentiu toda dores no cu por causa das bombas alemãs e os céus estavam cinzas. Punk Floyd explodiu com tudo em 1964, arretados completamente com tudo o que os jovens viviam naquela época, juntando jazz com hardcore em suas músicas. Eles fizeram muitas apresentações louconas e usavam sempre um ritmo 4/4 super rápido. Diga se eu não estou certo: essa banda pode ou não ganhar o mundo?

Integrantes[editar]

Punk Floyd em 1976. Da esquerda pra direita: Roger Vicious, Glenn Gilmour, Nick Napalm, Rick Rotten.
  • Sid Curtis - guitarrista. De início era o mais degenerado, mas com o passar do tempo se tornou tão limpo e saudável que ninguém mais o reconhecia, levando assim a sua saída da banda. Antes de sua morte, foi visto prestando serviços comunitários e lendo livros para crianças em creches. Se matou após uma depressão ao ver seus amigos tudo famosos e ele na merda.
  • Roger Vicious - o melhor baixista que não sabia tocar o instrumento de todos os tempos. Após a saída de Syd, Roger tornou-se o líder criativo (?) dos Punk Floyders, mas fez tanto sucesso com as groupies que decidiu sair da banda e seguir em carreira solo para não ter que dividir nenhuma com os colegas. Considerava a si mesmo a personificação do Punk Floyd.
  • Rick Rotten - o tecladista mais versátil de seu tempo, pois tocar Punk Progressivo era algo único, ainda mais no teclado. Ocasional terceira voz, saiu da banda em 1979, após sobreviver a uma tentativa de assassinato por parte do baixista Roger Vicious durante a produção do álbum "The Floor".
  • Nick Napalm - baterista e único que apresentava sinais de autocontrole. Hoje é responsável pelos royalties, biografias e dar entrevistas.
  • Glenn Gilmour - amigo de infância de Syd Barrett, substituiu o próprio após sua saída. Guitarrista da banda durante a sua fase de maior sucesso, entrou em múltiplos conflitos com Roger Vicious, levando ao fim do Punk Floyd. Após ser liberado da prisão em 1987, ressuscitou o grupo, como uma última oportunidade para ficar mais rico, muito para o desgosto de Roger. Hoje parece que se entregou ao capitalismo, pois está mais e mais gordo.

História[editar]

O início de tudo.[editar]

Syd Barrett com 18 meses, Oxford, 1946.

Dois arquitetos fracassados e desempregados, Roger Vicious e Syd Curtis se conheceram em Oxford, Inglaterra e encontraram-se pra se conhecerem melhor (Huuuum boiola) em London, London no meio dos anos 60. Juntos com o tecladista-e cantor de banheiro Rick Rotten eles tentaram fazer uma banda chamada "The Strand" começando uma tradição no punk progressivo: "A primeira faz tchan, a segunda faz tchun e a terceira faz: tchan tchan tchan tchan! Este é um acorde, esse é outro, e esse é o terceiro. Tente achar o quarto!"

O jeito anormal de Barret de tocar guitarra e a imagem pastoral, infantil com letras que contrastavam pra cacete com o ritmo ruidoso do novo membro, o baterista de escola de samba Paul Mason, e um ato de palco centrado em atacar animais domésticos, como cachorros, ovelhas e porcos voadores com uma serra elétrica. A combinação provou-se irresistível.

Cquote1.png As pessoas adoravam quando fazíamos shows de 20 minutos com apenas 3 músicas nossas... mas só tínhamos aquelas músicas mesmo, todas repetidas Cquote2.png
Rick Rotten sobre seus shows para a Melody Maker in 1967.

Quando tinha 8 anos, um McClaren ainda chupão encontrou seu próprio marketing pessoal.

Visualmente, o Punk Floyd eram muito diferentes do que os ingleses haviam visto antes, com um jeito que fundia cores psicodélicas em seus piercings no rosto. A banda acabou atraindo a atenção do empresário safado e sem vergonha Malcolm McClaren.

Cquote1.png Quando eu vi o Punk Floyd ao vivo pela primeira vez disse: "Putaquipariu, parecem o Mamonas Assassinas". Syd e Roger eram realmente uns lixos maravilhosos. Cquote2.png
Malcolm McClaren sobre Punk Floyd


Punk Floyd assinou com a companhia do McClaren’s Ego-Trip’ e começou uma rotina louca de shows em Soho, além de vendas de seus sucessos fabulosos. Seu primeiro clássico foi “See Emily Die, sobre a Emily Rose. Sim, aquela que foi exorcizada.

Heróis do submundo[editar]

O sucesso grandioso de Roger Vicious com as mulheres é um mistério para todos. Olha a cara do sujeito, meu!

Londres em 1966 estava LOTADA de bandas - em todos os bares da região sempre tinha algum idiota cantando “Louie Louie”. Punk Floyd não foi exceção, e eles ainda incluíram nos seus shows versões toscas de Rolling Stones, The Kinks e Bo Diddley, mas, como um imitador soberbo que era, Barrett insistia para que cantassem tudo como deveria ser, ou seja, se fossem fazer uma versão de Kaoma, que fizesse na íntegra. Syd nunca se contentou com aquelas cópias mal-feitas dos colegas. Ele rejeitava aqueles ideais políticos e aquele besteirol flower power que tinha na Califórnia, sendo adepto do nihilismo e músicas sobre um gnomo chamado Grimble Cromble.

Mas o que ficou bem claro dessa bobalhada toda foi quando a banda quis colocar muitas letras sobre sexo. Vendo tal esquema, Roger Vicious aceitou, feliz da vida, afinal sua vida de nerd seria finalmente satisfeita, ainda que de maneira fracassada.

Novas de que surgia uma nova onda de música de garagem progressiva fez o Punk Floyd se tornarem os queridinhos do underground, tocando em vários bares e danceterias, como a Casa da Mãe Joana, Os Alienados e o afamado C.u B.eijado por G.ays B.oiolas. McClaren conseguiu sei lá como vender os caras pra EMI para gravarem seu primeiro single, “Arnold’s Brayne” – uma sujeirada sobre o mundo inglês, problemas com a lei causados por putas pagas de última e sobre o suicídio após ser estrupado por 5 headbanguers

Abbey Road por Syd.

Quando a EMI viu que o Punk Floyd chegara ao Top 10, McClaren confirmou a posição de sua banda como "os reis do psycho-thrash, organizando um evento de 3 dias chamado: “Games for Pay”.

Arnold’s Brayne” chegou ao número 18 após algumas semanas, tornando Punk Floyd o "Top dos Pops" e o mundo nunca mais seria o mesmo. Nunca mais mesmo!

Controversy[editar]

Punk Floyd's debut álbum was banned by the BBC, a tried and tested method to increase sales.

Arnold’s Brayne” peaked at number 15 but the follow-up, “See Emily Die”, had reached number 6 before being banned by the BBC following a Daily Mail campaign objecting to its overtly violent theme and to the refrain Princess Margaret is a man which they claimed could be heard if the single was sanded with emery paper and played backwards at 59.75 revolutions per minute under a new moon.

The storm of controversy saw Punk Floyd invited onto Granada TV’s popular "Reg Grundy Show" where Syd added to their notoriety by injecting the host with Heroin and encouraging him to swear live on national television. Fleet Street saw red but the sensation only swelled Punk Floyd’s following and EMI encouraged the band to complete the recording of their álbum around a heavy gigging schedule.


Syd wanted to call the album ‘Piper at the Gates of Oblivion,’” recalled Rick Rotten. “But Malcolm insisted that it was issued as ‘Please excuse the gonads, here’s Punk Floyd’.


The álbum was banned across Britain, Punk Floyd were the officially the coolest band in the country and Syd, Roger, Paul and Rick were stars. But fame rarely comes without a price.

Descent of a Genius[editar]

A 1968 conviction for forming an improper relationship with a cat convinced McClaren that all would be well with Syd.

Syd had dreamt of being a star since childhood but found the reality of fame hard to handle. There were the girls, the cars, the money and everywhere the band went they were mobbed by pensioners demanding that he stab them, or finish off their cat with a chainsaw. Syd started passing-up drinking sessions with band-mates and began to retreat into himself. Where once he’d sought out attention, now he hid in airing-cupboards rocking silently backwards and forwards, clucking like a chicken. But it was worse than anyone knew.


Syd couldn’t take it,” McClaren wrote in his autobiography. “He stopped taking the Heroin and the life just drained out of him. I packed him off on holiday with Rick and we pumped him full of smack, but it was no good, the spark had died.


Syd’s behaviour became less and less erratic, leading his band-mates to wonder if they’d ever be able to record with him again. Nevertheless, he successfully fronted a Scandinavian tour and recorded several tracks for the next álbum “A Shitload of Secrets”, including the magnificent "Jugband Booze" - a track which contained the prescient lyrics:

All seemed well at the start Syd and Rick's Greek holiday but, once ensconced on Cos, Syd was frighteningly sober.



"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,

and I'm most obliged to you for making it clear that I'm not here, you bastards.

And I'm wondering who will be writing your songs...

You can stick your band where the sun don't shine,

Cause all the fans in the audience are mine.

And I don't care if they listen to you,

I'll put my money with the Woolwich"



But during the band’s first American tour it was clear that his time with the band was fast drawing to a close. At a concert in San Francisco Syd, desperate to avoid consuming the wrap McClaren had provided, mixed the heroin with gel and constructed an elaborate hair-style to hide it. Under the hot stage-lights the carefully styled hair collapsed, making his face appear to melt. The audience were thrilled but McClaren was worried, it seemed that Syd was spiralling uncontrollably into chemical abstinence.


Syd would just stand staring at the audience as they spat at him,” Paul Mason recalled. “Sometimes he’d play one note all night, which we rather liked. Other times he’d detune his guitar at random which, at the time, we took as a worrying sign of musical adventure. And he became prone to bouts of rationality – so we fired him.

After Syd[editar]

The original title for Floyd's 1971 offering, "Fear the Wurst", and the accompanying image of a sausage was deemed offensive to Vegetarians.

With Syd too clean to continue, McClaren drafted in Syd’s childhood friend, Glen “Lucky” Gilmour. Initially, they hoped to record Syd's work as a five piece while touring without him, but they soon found that it was easier to embezzle Barrett’s royalty cheques with him elsewhere. However, without Syd’s creative input the band found inspiration hard to come by and several subsequent álbuns ("Less", "Muddle" and the double álbum "Umm er, no new tunes. Let's do a live record.") were largely ignored by the public. Sales of their soundtracks to porn films barely covered production costs and the outlook seemed bleak.


If the band had sobered up long enough to consider their future, the dramatic decline in sales might have convinced them to give up, fortunately 1971’s “Atom Heart Motherfucker” went to number 1 in the UK chart and number 27 in the USA, providing a welcome injection of cash to pay for ever more frequent injections of narcotics. The album hinted at the future with a largely instrumental first side and a second side made up of more traditional, shorter thrashes, including the stand-out track Gilmour track: “Fat Old Sod.”


Even so, it was the following 1973 album, “The Great Rock and Roll Swindle in the Sky”, that launched Punk Floyd into a different realm. Including the singles “Analgesics in the UK”, “Vegetable Head” and “God shave the Queen” the album was a run-away success on both sides of the Atlantic.

The art work for the cover of the The Great Rock and Roll Swindle in the Sky was narrowly beaten in a vote for most popular poster of 1973 by this iconic image.


“Suddenly we were superstars and could have whatever we liked,” Paul Mason recalls. “Mostly I wanted vintage sports cars, girls, drugs, chainsaws, the violent overthrow of traditional society and its replacement with a less rigidly hierarchical system based on individual need. Pretty much in that order, really.”


Old school-friend and graphic designer, Lightning Hopkins, provided a striking image for the álbum cover - a perfect optical prism being shattered by a hammer. For the next few years, this image would appear on bedroom walls across the world. With a lengthy tour behind them and millions banked and spent, the band returned to the studio in 1975 to record an elegy to their former compatriot Syd, the álbum that would eventually be released as “Wish you were Dead”.


"Syd turned up at the studios," McClaren claimed in his autobiography. “He looked so healthy and clean that no one recognised him. Eventually, I realised who he was but it was a shock; where once his eyes had been like black holes in the sky, suddenly they were sparkling and full of life. I was terrified, I didn't want the band to see him so I impaled him on a fence post I found behind Abbey Road.


McClaren buried Syd in the basement but his influence pervades the álbum in the title track and others such as “Shine on you Crazy Bastard, parts I to MCXVIII” , and “Have some more Horse”.


The subsequent tour was marked by even larger audiences and ever more elaborate theatrics - a laser show decimated the front row nightly, and the performance culminated in a spitfire dive-bombing the stadium after the last encore. The band reassembled for the 1977 álbum “Animals (being killed with chainsaws)” which was a critical success but unpopular with the record-buying public.

One of Floyd's infamous inflatable pigs prior to its escape in Rio, 1977.


People thought it was time to stop and I considered it,” Roger remembers. “But then the words of The Jacksons came back to me – Don’t stop ‘til you get enough – and I only had about £10 million at the time so we went back into the studio to recall the album that became “The Hedge”. I've tried to live my life according to the Jackson's philosophy ever since, especially "Blame it on the Boogie".


A notable incident in Punk Floyd's career came when they flew to Rio de Janeiro to record with 'Great Train-Robber', Ronnie Biggs. Rotten duetted with Biggs on the track "Pigs - keep trying to extradite me" for which Lightning Hopkins had arranged a photo-shoot in front of Sugar-Loaf mountain including a 40 foot inflatable Biggs and an even larger London Bobby. Sudden winds broke the tethers and a bizarre cop-chase through the skies of Brazil ensued until the balloons finally landed in a remote part of the Amazon rainforest, where Biggs is still worshipped as a God by Yanamami indians.

The Hedge[editar]

Fans felt that Vicious' custom-built replacement for Rick Rotten was not only a more technically proficient singer and pianist, but had a far more engaging personality.

Over the years Roger Vicious had become increasingly intolerant of the audience's reaction to Punk Floyd's live performance.


"It was God Shave the Queen that started it. Suddenly everyone was dancing and having a good time; no one seemed interested in gobbing at us or senselessly attacking each other. I felt they were missing the point."


The idea came to him to embody the distance that had grown between him and the fans organically. He began to conceive the notion of a giant hedge growing at the front of the stage, isolating the band from their increasingly sober audience. Early live performances were disastrous;


"The Hedge grew so slowly," Mason remembers. "We had to replace the leylandii with bamboo and keep it under special lights. I mean, you could actually watch that shit growing but it still took fucking hours to cover the stage, by the time it was ready we'd played our entire back catalogue three times even though Lucky played an six hour solo in Comfortably Dumb."


But the set-back only inspired Vicious to new heights of creativity. Together with composer, Bob Cratchitt, he expanded The Hedge from the original double-álbum to a nine-hour Duodecuple álbum investigating many recurrent Punk Floyd themes: madness, chainsaws, the passing of time, estrangement, madness, war, chainsaws, paranoia, death, estrangement, madness, Syd, money, and madness. Despite retailing at the price of a used car, the álbum was a runaway best-seller, bigger even the The Great Rock and Roll Swindle in the Sky. Once again the Floyd stormed the singles charts, this time reaching number one with "Another leaf on the Hedge, pt II".

Still from Disney's version of "Over the Hedge".


But whatever the success of the álbum, the tour was a disaster. Apparently fearing assassination Vicious liquidated keyboardist/singer Rick Rotten, replacing him with robots; and staging the extravaganza was so ruinously expensive that it was only performed in its entirety six times, with less than 5% of the losses offset by sales of bamboo-shoots. Vicious though, could not let go. In 1980, buoyed by the huge royalties embezzled from Barrett, he began to produce an epic motion-picture version of "The Hedge", starring Bob Geldof in the role of the hero, Punk.


Soaring overspends saw shooting suspended in 1981 and the project was only saved by the Disney Corporation, who agreed to complete the film in return for complete creative control. Although loath to agree, Vicious had no choice and the final version surfaced briefly in 1999 as the forgettable Over the Hedge. But, the project's time had passed and children seemed no longer willing to sit still for half a day watching a divorced raccoon rock-star descend into a paranoid search for food to satisfy the ever-greater demands of a Nazi dictator-bear.

The End, part 1.[editar]

Feminists complained that the cover of "Pros and Cons" demeaned women by suggesting that female hitch-hiker always wear high-heels.

By now, Vicious was convinced that he was the personification of Punk Floyd. With Rotten and Barrett dead, Gilmour nothing but a fat, Johnny-come-lately banjo-player and Mason little more than an arrhythmic make-weight it was time to stake a claim for full control. Vicious summoned his colleagues to a band-meeting in his new bunker beneath Wolfsburg and presented them with two possible projects and an ultimatum.


"There was this entirely unlistenable thing called The pros and cons of Bare-Backing," Gilmour remembered. "It had no tunes, way too many lyrics and a bird with a fit arse on the cover that Roger had already designed - I really liked it. But there was also "The Final Cunt" which just had no tunes and way too many lyrics. He told us we could make one and then fuck off or we'd be going the same way as Rick."


Despite the preference of Gilmour and Mason for "The Pros and Cons", McClaren insisted on "The Final Cunt", a homage to Vicious' father, murdered by his son while on home-leave from the army in 1944. Rolling Stone described the álbum as "The finest nihilist, post-Imperialist reassessment of British foreign-policy since the last album by Men without Hats." But fans were less impressed, with sales stalling at twelve despite a top 20 single, "Not Now, Dear." It seemed that time could finally be up for Punk Floyd and Vicious duly announced the band's death in the obituary column of NME.


"Punk Floyd

1964-1983

Beloved of no one.

R. Vicious (poet and philosopher)"

The End, part 2[editar]

Roger Vicious reacted poorly to news of Punk Floyd's re-formation.

In 1987 Lucky Gilmour found himself freshly out of Broadmoor (A UK prison for the criminally insane), at a loose end and with a mounting debt to his bookie. The solution to these problems seemed obvious: if Vicious no longer wanted to be in Punk Floyd he'd phone his old friend Mason and they'd become Punk Floyd themselves.

They converged on a house-boat on the Thames and began the creative process that would lead to that year's "A Momentary Lapse of Music". After two days the pair could agree on only four words "I hate you, Roger" to be sung over and over to the tune of "Whistle while you work". There were ominous signs that, having recovered from the creative loss of Barrett, the band would succumb to the creative loss of Vicious.


"We thought of contacting Syd but rumour had it that he'd joined the Salvation Army special forces," Gilmour reported. "We had no idea that Malcolm had put him under."


Fortunately, old friend of the band, Bob Cratchitt, appeared with the very latest technology and the project moved on.

Punk Floyd eventually returned their Sinclair technology to Sir Alan Sugar.


"Bob brought a Sinclair QL, which was a ZX Spectrum in a bigger box, with a keyboard that wasn't made of jelly," Mason wrote in his autobiography. "Some clever bugger had written a program that randomly created rhyming sentences from all the entries in the Oxford Concise Dictionary. You could set the words you wanted to appear most frequently, so we typed in the usual: madness, isolation, chainsaw etc. After about six hours and it started beeping and then the printer spat out -"Disk Loading error. Line 12" which became the working title of Momentary Lapse."


Cratchitt re-booted the QL and soon they had a list of twenty songs to choose from. Within a week of release heavy American airplay of "The Frogs of War" had quickly propelled the álbum to number 3 in the Billboard chart. The band were swiftly back on the road.


"I figured my dealer couldn't keep pestering me for cash if I was in a different city each night," Gilmour admitted to Penthouse. "Plus, without the expense of all the bamboo from the Hedge tour we were actually making a decent profit."


A bitter legal dispute over the use of giant inflatable sex-dolls which Vicious claimed copyright over did little to spoil the feeling of elation and a live álbum of the tour "The Delicate Sound of Folding-Money" followed. A further álbum, "Flogging a dead Horse" appeared in 1995 with the familiar themes of madness, the need to generate cash and chopping up animals. Though the álbum was not a big seller, the tour was lucrative enough for Gilmour to invest in several Afghan poppy-fields.

Post-script[editar]

Failed rock stars take comfort in each other.

Gilmour officially declared the band dead again in 2001 to pursue a solo project "Roger on an Island" - a concept álbum following the imaginary life and slow starvation of Vicious once stranded on Rockall. Punk Floyd were persuaded out of retirement to perform at the G8 concert, sensationally appearing alongside Vicious.

Bob Geldof claimed:


"People had started to forget what a fecking genius I am. So I thought performing a miracle like getting the Floyd back together might get me canonised this time. Oh, and there were some hungry people in Africa, or somewhere."


Following the concert, Vicious took the opportunity to murder Mason.

Gilmour remains in hiding, thought to be in the Tora-Bora region of Afghanistan.

The robotic Rick Rotten has recently been seen advertising butter on UK Television.